FEELING BETTER

 

Hello, friends.  I am finding myself feeling a bit better today.  The tears still come when I least expect them, but I am more myself.  That's a good thing.

Yesterday I got a call from Pastor who wanted to go over the program for Debbie's funeral with me.  We talked over some things, made suggestions, and finally got everything together.  He had some questions for the funeral director, and I offered to call them for him.

It was a very strange call.  I had called the day before about getting flowers from the Tuesday Bible Study group for her funeral and spoke with Mrs. S.  And when I called yesterday, she answered as well.  I told her who I was and asked the questions Pastor had wanted answers to.

Mrs. S:  Who are you again?

Me:  Kathy ...  I called yesterday about the flowers and now I have some other questions for you.  Pastor asked me to call for him.

Mrs. S:  And just why are YOU calling?  How are YOU involved in all of this?  This is highly unusual.

Me:  Well, I'm the Church Secretary.  In fact, I'm Pastor's secretary.  He asked me to make some phone calls for him and you were one of them.

Mrs. S:  Oh really?  I didn't know Protestant churches had secretaries.  In fact, I didn't know Protestant ministers had secretaries.  Are you sure you're his secretary?

Me:  Yes.  I have been for 6 years now.  (Really closer to 7 but I didn't say that.)

She did give me the answers I needed, and I was able to call Pastor back and tell him what was going on.  I felt as if I was back working for the library with all the strange calls I used to get there.

I think being able to do something tangible and constructive has helped me.  It's not being able to do anything that drives me crazy.

Still working on the big house cleanout.  Trash day is coming and more trash needs to leave this place.  I will be so glad when it is done.  And I am so thankful to the people who are helping me.

I'm going to go get breakfast now and feed George.  It's a whole different ballgame now because George will not eat the food that Jack did.  I have a feeling that my friends with cats are going to get some cans of food.

Talk to you all again soon.

Kathy

Here's the George cat (as we call him).

IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER

 Hello, friends.  Thank you so, so much for all of your kind words and for standing by me during this time.  This is one of the hardest seasons of my life and I so appreciate all of you.  Without you I don't know how I would get through it.

Debbie's sister-in-law and niece asked me to go with them to the funeral home on Friday to help them with the arrangements.  I went and picked them up since I know the area and they don't.  They live 2 hours from here.

The funeral director was so kind.  Debbie and I had been there for her husband's funeral six months ago.  He remembered me, of course.  We talked through a lot of things.  I have known Debbie since we were 15 years old, so I knew things like her parents' names, etc. that her sister-in-law had no clue about.

The celebration of life is this Saturday, and the interment is on Tuesday.  It is hard.  Very hard.  Debbie was like my sister.

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to my big boy Jack.  I went with Joe to the veterinarian, but I couldn't go in.  I just sat in the car and cried and cried.  I wanted to be there when Jack breathed his last, but I couldn't.  He was my baby.  Even though I have George, the house seems so empty without Jack.

But he was suffering with kidney failure, and I just couldn't do that to him.  He used to purr all day, but he had even stopped purring.  I knew how sick he was then.

We are still decluttering the house.  I am amazed and appalled by how much junk we have.  My friend's son is helping us, and I am so thankful for younger hands and energy to help us.  So much is going out.

I really wasn't hungry for dinner last night, but Joe insisted I eat something.  He bought me a sandwich which I ate, but then felt sick.  Feeling better this morning.  I think I shouldn't have eaten while I was upset.

He also bought me flowers.  He got me white and yellow daisies not knowing they were Debbie's favorite and were in her wedding bouquet.  They are also going to be her funeral flowers.  He felt bad when I told him, but I said they were a tribute to her, and it was so sweet.

I am going to go now.  I have to get ready because Bible Study is this morning.  I will talk to you later.  Again, thank you so much for being there for me.

Kathy

IT'S OVER

 

Good night sweet Debbie.  My friend went home to be with Jesus this morning.  I will miss her terribly.  But she is so happy now.  She is with her husband who died six months ago.  She was so lost without him.  And to look into the face of her Savior is amazing.

Just thought I would share the news with you.  I'm not up to making a big post today.  Perhaps later.  Soon...

Kathy